Swingers Definitions, Understanding Swinging

369 see definition of 69; three swingers in which two are engaged in oral sex while a third positions himself to penetrate one of the others; usually a man engaging in vaginal sex with the one on top in the doggie-style position

3SUM three people, usually from both genders, who engage in sexual activity.  (see Threesome)

469 see definition of 369; four swingers in which two are engaged in 69 oral sex while a third and a fourth person position themselves to penetrate the two engaged in simultaneous oral sex

4SUM four people or more engaged in swinger sex

69 two people engaged in simultaneous oral sex with each other; the shape of the two numbers together is ideophonetic for the sexual act itself; see depiction here

AC/DC can go either way; bisexual.  Person who enjoys swinger sexual activity involving either gender

ADULT pertaining to mature individuals, sexual content or activity; porn

AMAUROPHILIA is sexual arousal by a swing partner who is unable to see either due to artificial means, such as being blindfolded, or engaging in sex in total darkness

AMBISEXTROUS the character or conditions in which someone can put either their left or their right hand into the pants of someone else and be completely satisfied with whatever genitalia they may find there

ANAL SEX anal intercourse; the act of the anus being penetrated by an object or penis. During anal intercourse it is most common for the penis to be involved

ANALINGUS oral contact or stimulation of the anus of one partner by kissing, licking, or sucking of the other; also known as rimming or rim job; see depiction here

ARTS & FETISHES swingers who use non-sexual objects, actions, or non-genital portions of the anatomy to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure

AUSSIE KISS oral sex act where a the tongue is inserted into the opening of the vagina; similar to a French Kiss but only done “Down Under”

AUTOEROTIC masturbation

B&D or B/D refers to Bondage and Discipline. Bondage is the practice of restraint, such as handcuffing or tying someone up, for the purposes of sexual arousal.  Discipline is the practice of spanking or other disciplinary actions in order to arouse sexual desire.  Often done in Master and Slave relationships in swinging

BACK DOOR synonym for anal intercourse or anal sex

BALL GAGubber or silicone sphere strapped into a swinger's mouth with straps around the head securing it in place, normally used in BDSM as a tool of humiliation rendering speech unintelligible

BARE BOTTOM SPANKING fetish of repeatedly applying percussive force to the naked ass;  a hand is often used, however additional implements may be used, e.g. hairbrush, paddle, straps, wooden spoon; other implements such as cane or martinet may be used but the increased force usually indicates a BDSM techniques of flogging or whipping

BAREBACK refers to having intercourse without the use of a condom. This  practice in swinging is high-risk behavior among any participants regardless of orientation and not advised

BBC Big Black Cock

BBW Big Beautiful Woman; plus size women that may not be at their ideal weight, but are comfortable with their size and appearance

BDSM a conflated four letter acronym of three distinct terms:  BD (Bondage & Discipline), DS (Dominance & Submission), and SM (Sadism & Masochism). A wide range of sexual activities in swinging having to do with power and authority

BERMUDA TRIANGLE groomed pubic hair (via waxing or shaving) into a triangular shape pointing to vulva [depicted here]; see also SPHINX, LANDING STRIP

BHM Big Handsome Men; refers to plus sized men; can also mean tall and large without overweight

BI truncated synonym for bisexual

BI-ACCEPTING usually refers to someone who is mostly attracted to the opposite gender but comfortable to a limited extent with receiving sexual attention from the same sex; generally speaking it refers to someone who falls somewhere between straight and bisexual, but has different meanings depending on who is using it

BI-COMFY varies from person to person but usually used by women (rarely men) to state that she is comfortable being around or with a woman who is bisexual;  she is comfortable with the idea of playing with another woman but does not wish to label herself as bisexual

BI-CURIOUS someone who is curious, interested in, or has had limited bisexual experience; Nonetheless, this term is used by many in the swinging lifestyle who have had considerable bisexual experiences but for some reason are still not comfortable with the connotations associated with the label bisexual

BI-FRIENDLY generally refers to accepting and tolerance of bisexuality; when used by Lifestyle clubs it usually means they allow to the spectrum of hetero to homosexual behavior; However, when used by an individual it usually indicates an acceptance of same gender advances although not likely to initiate such behavior

BI-FURIOUS swinger who gets upset when they are continually asked if they are bisexual.  “WTF!?  Why do all the husbands we meet always ask me if I’m bisexual when our profile clearly lists me as straight!!?”

BI-ORAL a swinger who’s experience or desires for bisexual activity is limited to oral sex only; within swinging among males it means they normally do not wish to engage in anal sex, among women it may refer to accepting oral stimulation from other women but not give it

BISEXUAL swingers who enjoy sex with either men or women

BLINDFOLD see Amaurophilia

BODY SHOTS traditionally tequila shots taken after licking the salt off a partner’s body then followed up with the lime wedge from their mouth; however in the swinging Lifestyle it is devolved into simply drinking or slurping any liqueur poured onto the naval, breasts or genitalia of someone else

BONDAGE a sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."

BRAZILLIAN groomed pubic hair (via waxing or shaving) usually until all hair is removed; some use the term to describing the waxing hair removal process itself when used for pubic hair, most use the term as equivelent to the SPHINX style where all pubic hair is removed via waxing

BROKEN or UP ON BLOCKS synonym for menstruating; “Jerry, I know you’d love to fuck my wife, but she’s up on blocks right now and will be broken until next week.”  Not to be confused with lack of funds

BUKKAKE a Japanese term that refers to showering an individual (almost always a woman) with sperm from several men; depicted here; not a common swinger Lifestyle practice in reality but highly stylized in male-centric porn

BULL a single guy who is looking just for casual sex with a female; can be single or part of a couple; a somewhat pejorative term, but men that are labeled "Bulls" are often considered well endowed; they are differentiated from Jackrabbits or SAMS; as a term among gay men it refers to men who are beefy, masculine, muscular, hairy, and have a deep voice or big balls

BUNNIES a term of endearment for females in the Lifestyle, typically single

BUNNY ROOM a room reserved at a house party or club solely for bisexual women to play in; often this room is used when a house party is just beginning; men are normally not allowed in the bunny room but there may be means provided where they can observe the activity without interrupting

CAMMING (or webcamming) visual communication via webcams online; implies cybersex in Lifestyle vernacular.  Can also be used virtually when meeting someone the first time to avoid a public setting

CAN ENTERTAIN someone that has a private location and is willing to invite others over

CAN TRAVEL someone or a couple who are able to travel some extended distance to a desired swinging location

CD - Cross Dresser person who sometimes wears clothing associated with the opposite sex, generally used by men

CERTIFIED SWINGERS normally indicates that a swinger has friends or partners who will vouch for accuracy and validity of their profile; also a general term for swingers with considerable experience

CHEATING sexual activity with others without spouse’s knowledge and/or consent


CLEAN usually intended to indicate free of sexually transmitted infections and no drug addiction; sometimes confusingly used as truncated description for clean shaven

CLOSED DOOR or CLOSED SWINGING sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house or playroom of a club. Provides maximum privacy.  When used by couples it normally indicates the desire to be in separate rooms from their normal partner when engaged in sexual activity with others

CLOSET SWINGER a person who chooses not to disclose their swinger Lifestyle behavior freely

COCK RING refers to a ring worn around the base of the penis to help maintain erections and control for tantric sex [depicted here]; usually made of silicon, hard rubber, metal or leather, some may be decorated with beads, studs or spikes for affectation

COLLARED a BDSM symbol of a Sub to a Dom by means of a collar made of metal, leather, or other similar materials; many collars are equipped with rings where a leash or restraint can be attached

CONDOM used for contraception and/or protection from sexually transmitted infections (STI)

CONVERTIBLE synonym for topless

COOLIDGE EFFECT scientific phenomenon found in males where the introduction of a new willing sex partner results in nearly unstoppable—and often uncharacteristic—sexual performance despite very recent past sexual activities; this behavior is seen frequently at swinger lifestyle parties where men achieve orgasm with many different women in succession when they normally orgasm only once

COUGAR an older woman who sexually pursues men significantly younger than herself. Some definitions define the age difference of at least 8 years minimum; common parlance suggests an age difference of 15 years or more

COUPLE two people who may be married, but are presumed to be living together (cohabitating) or in a committed (ongoing relationship) bound by love or affection.  Can also mean a single couple dating for swinging purposes only.  However other couples may have reservations about swinging with such couples

CREAMPIE is a term first used in pornography to describe when a man ejaculates inside a partner's anus or vagina.  In the lifestyle it can describe couples who like to see semen visibly dripping from an orifice which they can then lick up afterwards.  Alternatively it can be used as a proxy to suggest that you do not like to use condoms and would prefer to cum inside; see depiction here

CUCKOLD old English (1250 CE) meaning is synonymous with a husband whose wife cheats, but has evolved in modern usage in swinger Lifestyle to very broadly suggest a husband whose wife has sex without his direct participation.  In some instances it means a husband (frequently clothed) who watches his wife engage in sex with other(s), or is forced to watch without any sexual release inciting an evolutionary sperm-competition response in the male.

CUCKQUEAN gender opposite term of cuckold (above) derived from old English (1562 CE);  lifestyle meaning is similar to male cuckold but is more often found in BDSM relationships and humiliation than dependent upon a male evolutionary response that increases sexual performance; See sperm-competition

CUNNILINGUS stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth, tongue and lips; depicted here

CURVEY oluptuous, often with large breasts and hips; not necessarily synonymous with overweight

CYBER-SEX sexual communication via the Internet often accompanied by mastrubation until orgasm

D&D FREE someone who advertises themselves disease and drug free. Generally this refers to being free of sexually transmitted infections and illegal drugs. You may also see this written as D/D Free or just DD

DAISY CHAIN sexual position referring to many partners simultaneously engaged in and receiving oral sex from each other in a continuous unbroken circle of all partners; see depiction

DEEP THROAT act of taking the full length of a partner’s fully erect penis during oral sex.  In strictest terms, the penis must be long enough so that it slides past the epiglottis and into the throat; depicted here

DILDO an artificial penis usually made of rubber or plastic for sexual stimulation

DIRECTOR a term used to describe the principal person operates a swing club or owner; can also refer to dominant individual who orchestrates various sexual acts in a group setting, sometimes called the coach

DISCIPLINE a sexual fetish in which one partner dominates another (willing) participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful strikes that leave marks or bruises.

DISCREET or DISCRETION asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that employers, family, friends or children who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the participants swinging activity

DOCILE willing to receive bondage and/or discipline

DOCKINGcribes a sexual practice in which the glans penis of one man is inserted into the foreskin of another and then engaging in mutual masturbation.

DOGGING (British) act of having sex in a public place, especially in parks; having sex with more than one person in a public place, often with at least one stranger, and usually with others watching


DOMESTIC TRAINING submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature

DOMINANT the sexual partner in control of the willing submissive partner

DOUBLE PENETRATION (DP) the extremely satisfying act of being penetrated with two penises simultaneously in two orifices, usually referring to anal and vaginal sex, but can also (uncommonly) be referred to oral sex; see depiction here 

DOUBLE VAGINAL PENETRATION (DVP) less commonly: double pussy penetration, DPP); refers to the phenomenally stimulating act of a women being penetrated by two penises at the same time in the vagina; in contrast to double penetration where separate orifices are penetrated

DRAMA or DRAMA FREE negative term referring to the highly charged or emotional outbursts, arguments or actions by individuals who are acting out based on anger, envy, jealousy, possessiveness or fear over actions from swinging; this behavior is highly discouraged in the Lifestyle

DREADED ISLAND FEVER (DIF) condition of desperate homesickness after you depart Jamaica once you have stayed at the Hedonism II resort; incurable condition whose symptoms can only be ameliorated by frequently returning home to Jamaica and indulging in hedonistic behavior.


EDGING tantric practice of repeatedly approaching climax but then purposefully stopping any further stimulation in order to delay ejaculation; allows extended pleasure of sexual stimulation short of climax making the final orgasm much more intense

ELLIS onomatopoetic acronym used as code to identify other swingers in the Lifestyle. The pronunciation of “Ellis” stands for the letters LS, which in turn are shorthand for the term Lifestyle. The question "Are you a friend of Ellis?" can be used to help identify a member of the lifestyle without compromising confidentiality

ESTIM ( or electrical stimulation)cribes the practice in which low levels of pulse-based electrical current is passed between electrodes attached to the body--normally the genitalia. As with mechanical stimulation, e.g. vibrators, with careful electrical stimulation it is possible to achieve orgasm. This sexual practice is often found in the BDSM community and is more popular among gay men.

EXHIBITIONISM lifestyle practitioners derive heightened sexual arousal or pleasure in the knowledge that their sexual activity is being observed by others.  This is often done consensually as part of swinging or in group sex, but may be in a more public setting with an increased risk of getting caught by vanillas

FACIAL a really erotic sexual act in which someone masturbates and then ejaculates hot sperm all over someone else’s face and/or open mouth; see depiction here

FAKE 'N BAKE term used for tanning salons; popular practice with swingers who are likely to be seen naked at parties, clubs, nude beaches or swinger resorts

FAMILY FIRST term normally posted on a profile indicating that the couple has children at home as a warning for unpredictable schedules or cancellations when arranging for meetings or play

FAUXMOSEXUAL a straight male who gives every appearance of being homosexual, but is in fact heterosexual.  A fauxmosexual (like a metrosexual) displays great attention to hygiene, style, and culture, and may speak effeminately and gesticulate wildly in order to give the impression of being gay.  However, unlike a metrosexual, these individuals often give the impression that much of their behavior is false and ingratiating

FELCHING the sexual practice of someone licking and sucking the semen out of partner(s) after a man ejaculates inside; this is often done by a third person in the lifestyle after a couple is done fucking

FELLATIO oral stimulation of the penis by mouth, tongue and lips.  Common parlance is “giving head” or giving a blow job; see depiction here

FEMBOY Shemale

FETISH sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy

FFM or FMF a threesome among two women and one man.  The FFM designation (as opposed to FMF) is often interpreted as indicating some bisexual play between the two women (FF) as part of the threesome.  Although less likely, it can also suggest that the man intends on engaging in acts of penetration with only one of the two ladies.  The FMF designation does not necessarily include, exclude or preclude bisexual activity between the two women.

FLAGELLATION sexual stimulation derived from whipping or spanking; usually part of S&M fetish

FLEXIBLE parlance for bisexuality; usually used as a euphemism for bisexual behavior of males unwilling to be labeled bisexual

FLUFFER although normally associated with the adult film industry to keep male performers at peak rigidity for imminent filming of sex acts, the term is more broadly applied by swingers in the Lifestyle to include anyone who assists a male sex partner, usually through oral sex, to help him regain or maintain an erection for sexual penetration of yet another sex partner; “Sophia could see that Carl was losing his erection being so close to a second cock during Barbie’s double-penetration, so Sophia played fluffer and licked and sucked on Carl’s cock and balls to keep him hard enough to penetrate Barbie.”

FOURSOME four people engaged in sex; normally indicates two couples all playing together and not just swapped in parallel play.  It does not automatically indicate bisexual activity

FUCK FUR the condition in which your hair is matted with sperm and sticking up in every direction giving away the fact that you have been having sex for hours

FUCKET LIST a To-Do List of all the people and sexual acts that you want to do (do again or have done to you) before you die; list may include celebrities, locations, positions, costumes, toys, or any other varieties by name, number, or actions of a sexual nature

FULL SWAP generally indicates when distinct couples change partners presumably to engage in sexual intercourse with penetration.  Full Swap however does NOT necessarily presume they will automatically play in separate rooms, engage in anal sex or other fetishes, or play without condoms.

FURRIES or FURRY LIFESTYLERSerally refers those individuals who gain sexual arousal from anthropomorphic costumes of furry animals real or fictional. Furries do not necessarily ascribe to zoophilia and the term should not be conflated.

FURSUITcribes the anthropomorphic costume worn by Furries, normally plush and soft of animals either real or fictional.

FWB Friends With Benefits.  Generally intended to mean friends who have casual sex for recreation without expectation of commitment or deepening relationship beyond what already exists as friends.  Term has been used by some to almost be equated with NSA sex, although original intent of FWB is to suggest that some already established or lasting friendship is retained

G-SPOT the Gräfenberg Spot; bean-shaped area of the vagina located about 3 inches up the anterior wall. Many women report that when heavily stimulated it leads to powerful orgasms and squirting.

GADAR an uncanny ability to detect undisclosed homosexual predilection in others with little interaction; a useful ability by swingers if you are seeking bisexual partners in others that identify themselves as straight in their profiles

GANG BANG When one woman has sex with multiple men simultaneously.  Typically the men perform a wide variety of sex acts with her.  Events can often be observed by many non-participating members.  Normally culminates with men timing their ejaculations to occur simultaneously or in close sequence; depicted here.  Stylized orchestration occurring more frequently in porn than by real swingers.  When genders are reversed (one man with many women) it is referred to as a Reverse Gang Bang

GAY a homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian

GBM Gay Black Man

GENEROUS Euphemism for sex for money; prostitution

GIRL-on-GIRL (or GG, G/G, GvG) sex where just women (usually several) play with each other.  Normally men are NOT involved in girl-on-girl action except as observers.  At parties where the ladies play in isolation in a closed room, it is often referred to as the “bunny room.”

GLORY HOLE erotic fetish referring to a waist-high hole in a partition through which one inserts his penis for the purpose of sex [depicted here], normally fellatio but can also be intercourse; the hole can be in a bathroom stall or an adult video arcade booth or even cut out in a raised sheet at a house party; separation ensures complete anonymity and allows the total objectification of the male partner to nothing more than a penis and the sex act

GROUP ROOM room designated for group sex at a party or in a club.  It usually has several large beds in close proximity or has wall-to-wall mattresses or pads.  Often used synonymously with Orgy Rooms at clubs.  However there is normally no presumption that all individuals in the room will play with all other persons in the room

GROUP SEX sexual activity among many persons.  Sex among 3 people is often called a threesome, and sex with 4 people is called a foursome.  Therefore group sex usually indicates more than 4 people engaged in sex with those in vicinity.  There is no consensus when group sex becomes an orgy.  However some suggest that group sex should be reserved for multiples of paired couples that know each other whereas an orgy connotes a free-for-all with little prior familiarity with partners or sexual orientation.  

GWM Gay White Man

HAIR PULLING technique used by some during sex for increased pleasure; often used to psychologically augment the dominance of sexual partner who is pulling the hair and to increase submissiveness for the one who’s hair is being pulled

HALL PASS tongue in cheek euphemism indicating one member in a committed relationship given permission to play apart from his or her partner.  Also known as a Kitchen Pass when given the male member from his wife or girlfriend

HARD CORE a gathering or party where sexual interaction is presumed and expected.  Can also be attributed to swingers who engage in lifestyle sex with considerable frequency, or always have the presumption that they will play when meeting others, or generally engage in sex acts or fetishes that are viewed as extreme or socially marginal

HEAD oral sex; aka "Giving head"

HEDO Hedonism II.  Truncated name for the swinger, a.k.a Lifestyle-friendly, resort in Negril Jamaica

HEDONIST adherent to the school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good, i.e. pleasure defines what is good in life.  Hedonists strive to maximize overall pleasure and diminish pain

HETEROFLEXIBLE a person who does not identify themselves as bisexual, yet is still willing to engage in some bisexual activity if the mood and opportunity presents

HETEROSEXUAL one who has attraction or engages in sexual behavior between members of the opposite gender.  Lifestyle adherents usually ascribe to the theory that sexual orientation of individuals varies along a sexual continuum between homosexual and heterosexual

HOMOSEXUAL one who has attraction or engages in sexual behavior between members of the same gender.  Lifestyle adherents usually ascribe to the theory that sexual orientation of individuals varies along a sexual continuum between homosexual and heterosexual

HOOD ORNAMENT refers to the jewelry worn after piercing the labia located above the clitoris [depicted here] for the purpose of sexual stimulation by the transfer of motion or vibration; may be also used generically for all female genitalia piercings.

HORNY to feel sexual tension; in need of sexual release

HOST term for person who either runs or owns a swinger club or the house where the party is held.

HOTWIFE a married woman that enjoys having sex outside the marriage with the full knowledge and support of her husband.  The husband is typically monogamous with his wife and may or may not watch her with other men.  Not to be confused with swinger wives that are simply attractive, i.e. hot

HOUSE PARTY lifestyle swingers party at a private residence.  Although some may choose not to engage in any sexual activity, these parties usually involve significant sexual activity and there is a presumption that guests will find someone to play with at some point in the evening even if it is their normal partner.   Some parties may have a nominal cover charge or set up fee to offset expenses

HUMMER generically used to refer to a blowjob, however specifically refers to the practice of humming for the purpose of providing sonic vibrations to the penis during the act of fellatio

HUNG a male with a large penis.  A highly subjective term and grossly inflated by self-reporting males on website profiles.  Presumption is that the “hung” penis should larger than the average male.  Since the average male (across all ages and all races) is approximately 5 ¾ inches [with a standard deviation of less than one inch (<.8”)] a “hung” individual therefore would be 2 standard deviations larger, or greater than 7 ¼ inches (BPEL).  Such men represent <5% of adult males, or 1 in 135,000 in the U.S.  Someone with a 9 inch penis (4σ) is as common as daily encountering a man over 7 feet tall in real life

HWP Height/Weight Proportionate; someone that is not overweight or underweight

INSIDE-STRAIGHT foursome or two couples who hope (against the odds) to add a Unicorn to play with all of them; mirrors the desire to draw a fifth card that would complete a run in poker

INTACT - (or UNCUT)erm used to refer to a penis that has not been circumcised

IOT In order to

IR Interracial

ISO In Search Of

JACKING OFF masturbation by males

JACKRABBIT described from the French as chaud lapin or hot rabbit; men who are considered both desirable and proficient sexual partners; some can use term pejoratively

JELQING refers to the manual method of penis enlargement for the purpose of increasing permanent maximum erect size by wrapping the thumb and index finger around the penis while semi-erect and repeatedly drawing them away from one's body to force blood into the glans, thus encouraging more vascularity in the corpus cavernosum and associated tissues; such claims are not substantiated by medical professionals and may in fact be harmful or cause impotency

KAMA SUTRA the Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian text which is considered the primary Sanskrit work on human sexuality

KEN & BARBIE term indicating that one or both members of a couple are young, fit and physically attractive.

KINKY sexual activity perceived to deviate from accepted norms; highly subjective and varies widely from group to group; fetishes, paraphilia and sexual addictions often included

KITCHEN PASS a tongue in cheek euphemism indicating the male member in a committed relationship is given permission to play apart from his partner


LANDING STRIP groomed pubic hair (via waxing or shaving) of the female pubis to a thin line running vertically [depicted here]; see also BERMUDA TRIANGLE, SPHINX

LESBIAN a woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women

LIFESTYLE broad and encompassing term that applies to sexually open-minded people; swingers

MANAGE A TROIS or Ménage à trois; a French term originally describing three people having sexual relations in the same domicile—usually a man and two women.  Although modern usage extends the term to mean any sexual act between three people, it is traditionally assumed to be a term that denoted a relationship of commitment and lasting affection vs. the term threesome.

MANDINGO males of great sexual abilities; often ascribed singularly to those black males purported to have significant sexual prowess and/or endowment

MARITAL AIDS dildos, vibrators, cock rings, toys and other devices used for sexual pleasure

MASOCHISM sexual arousal and gratification through pain and/or humiliation from others

MASSAGE the sensual art of rubbing, kneading, or patting parts of the body to increase circulation and suppleness, to relieve tension, or to sexual stimulate a partner.

MASTER/SLAVE terms denoting dominance and submissive partners in a bondage and discipline relationship

MATROOM room with mats or mattresses set aside for sex; often intended for group sex or orgies

MBC Married Black Couple

MBF Married Black Female

MBiC Married Bisexual Couple

MBM Married Black Male

MEET & GREET normally denotes an organized social gathering of many swinger lifestyle members who are meeting for the first time.  Gatherings are typically in a public setting but usually private events and requiring invitation from the organizer to attend.  Although normally “off-site” gatherings with no rooms for play, organizers usually suggest suitable hotel accommodations in the nearby area for those that find playmates

MEET FOR PLEASURE advertisement intending to meet for sex without any requirement for lasting friendships.  Similar to No Strings Attached (NSA)

METROSEXUAL a straight male who has refined tastes in food and wine, highly stylized and quality clothing, uses product, often extroverted and sometimes flamboyant. (see FAUXMOSEXUAL)

MFM or MMF threesome involving two men and one woman; the later designation implies some bisexual contact among the men

MILFMother I'd Like to Fuck.”  A sexually attractive female with children.  Normally a reference to women who would have school age children (30 - 50)

MORESOME iteration of more than four people engaged in sex; group sex; orgy

MUTUAL MASTURBATION two or more people (either same or opposite sex) who touch, rub or otherwise make physical contact with each other’s genitals for sexual stimulation with the intent of bringing each other to orgasm

MWC Married White Couple

MWF Married White Female

MWM Married White Male

NASCA North American Swing Club Association; an association of swinger clubs and swingers magazines to promote swinging as a beneficial lifestyle

NATURALISM/NUDISM/NUDIST people who enjoy being nude and is part of their Lifestyle. Not all Nudist are Swingers, nor are all Swingers nudist.  Modern Naturists often claim that clothes are unnecessary, unhealthy and build social barriers.  Naturists often reject the claim that there is automatic congruence of nakedness and sexuality—a claim not accepted by many swingers

NEWBIES people new to the swinger Lifestyle or to a swinger club or lifestyle resort.  The length one stays in the status of “newbie” is undefined but is usually linked to either duration or level of experience and often self-proclaimed.  “We may have been swinging in the Lifestyle for 3 years and been to Hedo several times, but we are Newbies compared to you!”

NEWCOMERS new people; First-timers; often in conjunction with clubs and resorts

NONSMOKER does not smoke.  Qualifying factor used in profiles and searches

NSA No Strings Attached; someone who wants to engage in sex with others without any commitment or suggestion of a lasting relationship; casual sex

OFF PREMISE CLUB a club where sexual activities do not normally take place; often done to meet statutory regulations if alcohol is sold on premise or simply because the venue does not lend itself easily to comfortable play.  Members are encouraged to make their own arrangements

ON PREMISE CLUB a club (or house) where sexual activities usually take place.  Normally there are designated areas for people to engage in sex, such as bedrooms-but may occur elsewhere too.  On-Premise clubs typically do not sell alcohol in order to comply with local liquor laws

OPEN SWINGING couples swinging with one or more other couples in the same room.

ORGY open and free sexual interaction among several men and women in the same setting; different from group sex in that it implies total lack of inhibition by all involved with bisexual activity likely.  

P/P - PHOTO/PHONE Used in profiles.  "P/P available upon request."

PARTIES a swinger Lifestyle gathering with more than one couple. Not synonymous with group sex or orgies.

PARTY and PLAY (PnP)cribes the practice of using recreational drugs (normally Methamphetamine) as part of, or in exchange for, sexual play. This practice is high-risk behavior and strongly discouraged by SSN.

PARTY CLOTHES clothing suited for swinger parties or lifestyle clubs.  Often known as slutwear requiring a change of clothes or covering as it is often unsuitable for any public setting or venue other than a swinger lifestyle party.  It includes lingerie, underwear, thongs, sarongs, wraps and other clothing that accentuates naughty bits and is easily removed.

PECKER TRACKS semen stains left behind on furniture after sex

PERVING to surreptitiously look up someone’s profile on a swinger website after initial contact to see what they look like or what their interests are

PHONE SEX explicit phone conversation where sex is discussed; often while masturbating

PHOTOGRAPHY profile indicating interest in sexually explicit pictures

PIC COLLECTOR someone who is only interested in acquiring sexually explicit pictures from people

PILLOW PRINCESS pejorative term referring to a woman, usually very attractive, who does not reciprocate much during sex; a sleeping beauty

PLAY sexual activity

PLAYING PINK refers to the practice of engaging in intercourse despite her actively menstruating

POLY/POLYAMORY/POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP A love relationship involving more than 2 people.  Rather than casual sex, some in the swinging Lifestyle specifically seek out this kind of arrangement.  Some swingers caution against it or reject it as contrary to sex as a form of recreation if the sex is exclusive.  Close friends who frequently engage in sexual activity may find themselves in polyamorous relationships over time.

POMPOIR is a tantric sexual technique in which the woman uses her vaginal muscles to stimulate the man's penis. Both remain still while the woman strokes the man's erection by rhythmic, rippling pulses of the pubococcyxgeus muscles – also known as "playing the flute", and "the Singapore grip."  Kegel exercises increase a woman's skill by strengthening the relevant muscles, and allow her to identify, and isolate individual muscles, to contract them in turn to provide the rippling sensation likened to that of 'milking.'

PRIAPISM a painful condition in which an erection will not subside for over several hours despite the lack of any physical or psychological stimulation; medical intervention is often required to drain the cavernosa in the penis of blood to prevent the loss of genitalia or life

PRINCE ALBERT refers to the practice wearing barbell jewelry on the penis by piercing the penis from the outside of the frenulum and into the urethra [depicted here]; most widely known form of piercing in males, (others may include Ampallangs, Apadravya, Dydoe, Ladders, Magic Cross, Dolphins, and Guiche)

PRO/PROFESSIONAL prostitutes or paid escorts.  May refer to adult film performers

PUBLIC SEX may refer exhibitionist sex conducted in front of others for mutual pleasure; or it may refer to sexual activity conducted in public areas where the risk of being discovered heightens the senses.

RESTRAINT mild bondage used during sex

REVERSE COWGIRL cowgirl sexual position where male lies on back and female is on top, except seated backwards.

ROLE PLAYING sexual arousal attained by each partner acting out a role in a fantasy, e.g. teacher and student, doctor and nurse, milk maid and naughty stable boy, chauffeur and countess

RUBBER Condom; means of contraception

S&M Sadism/Masochism.  Sexual arousal through pain and/or humiliation

SAFE someone not at risk for becoming or causing pregnancy; can also designate someone purported to be free of sexually transmitted infections

SAFE SEX narrowly defined as the use of condoms for penetration

SAME ROOM denotes in a profile that the couple intend on having sex in the same room as their partner.  If soft-swap it may indicate monogamous sex in parallel play

SAMS Single Awesome Males.  Men in the Lifestyle that are attractive and desirable and have established a reputation as respectful and highly accomplished sexual partners.  They are differentiated from Bulls and Jackrabbits in their ability to perform admirably beyond just the bedroom 

SBF Single Black Female

SBiF Single Bisexual Female

SBiM Single Bi Male

SBM Single Black Male

SHEMALEunflattering sex term (derived from the sex work trade and pornography) used to describe a male-to-female transsexual woman usually with breast augmentation and intact male genitalia. Other equally offensive slang terms that have emerged include tranny, femboy or ladyboy, and rhyming descriptors, i.e. chicks with dicks, sluts with nuts, dolls with balls, and dudes with boobs

SINGLE a swinger without a partner, presumed to be single, but may be married with (or without) consent

SLUT CARD (or SOCIAL CARD) swinger business card that has your profile name from Swinger Social Network and other personal information you wish to reveal such as your real name, e-mail addresses, telephone numbers, etc.


SLUTWEAR lingerie, party clothes, stripper clothes, underwear, thongs, sarongs, wraps and other clothing that accentuates naughty bits and is easily removed.   Clothing suited for swinger parties or lifestyle clubs.  Often requiring a change of clothes or covering as it is often unsuitable for any public setting or venue other than a lifestyle party.  It includes lingerie, underwear, thongs, sarongs, wraps and other clothing that accentuates naughty bits and is easily removed.

SNOWBALLING is the sexual act in which one person takes semen into their mouth (usually after he ejaculates the whole load into their mouth during oral sex) and then they pass it back to the mouth of the man who came or some other person either through kissing or (snow) dropping;

SOCIAL CLUB normally a private club requiring membership that includes swinging activities.  Club may be a physical brick-and-mortar location or it may be a virtual organization that meets in various impermanent public settings.  Attendance is often restricted to couples and is by invitation only.

SODOMY non-coital, especially anal or oral, copulation-like act, especially between males or between male persons; anal sex

SOFT SWAP couples exchanging partners for sexual activity; normally they do not engage in coital penetration with anyone but their own partner.  However they may engage in kissing, touching, massage, oral sex, and female bisexual activities.  Normally done by newbies in the same room 

SPERM COMPETITION evolutionary adaptation by males to increase their chances of fertilizing a female; in the swing lifestyle refers to men who ejaculate copious amounts of semen long distance in conjunction with the tactical method of driving the penis harder, deeper and longer in a woman to remove another male’s sperm from the vagina, usually after a cuckold or a gangbang session

SPERM HOARDING the male sexual practice of denying oneself climax in order to avoid ejaculation; the purpose of sperm hoarding (in contrast to edging) is to ensure that one can continue to have erections later with other partners and save the semen for them

SPHINX groomed pubic hair (via waxing or shaving) of the female pubis until completely bare, thus resembling the breed of domestic hairless cat breen known as Sphinx (bald pussy); see also LANDING STRIP, BERMUDA TRIANGLE

SPIT ROAST slang term naming a threesome sexual position; term describes an individual (normally a female) who is positioned on hands and knees while sexually penetrated either vaginal or anal on one end while performing fellatio on a second male in front of her; position resembles a rotisserie skewer with two cocks on each end of woman

SQUIRTING female ejaculation; refers to the expulsion of clear fluid by women from the paraurethral ducts through and around the urethra during intense G-spot orgasms. The precise cause and composition of the fluid is debated by medical professionals.

SSN Swinger Social Network; premiere national swinger lifestyle website for finding real people who are real swingers who enjoy the lifestyle in a safe and secure network

STI (OR STD) - SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTION a modern term replacing the more narrow definition of sexually transmitted disease.  STI is now preferred, as it has a broader range of meaning, e.g. a person may be infected, and may potentially infect others for years without ever showing signs of a disease.  The even older term of venereal disease was a label of moral censor which often precluded needed treatment.

STR or ST8 straight, a heterosexual person, male or female; can also (rarely) refer to a person who does not use drugs; also used by some to denote those that do not engage in any alternative lifestyle sex or swinging

STRAP ON refers to a dildo designed to be worn by means of a harness

STUNT COCK refers to males who are called in (often randomly) to fulfill a specific role or function for a special sex act or sexual fantasy, e.g. second cock for a DP or one of the males for a gang bang; can also refer to males who perform far above the normal expectation simply for show or to ingratiate themselves with sex partners

SUBMISSIVE passive, wishes to be dominated, willing to receive corrective training

SUMATA term (Japanese) for a non-penetrative sex act; literally "bare crotch.”  Sumata is a form of frottage, performed by rubbing the penis with hands, thighs (Intercrural sex), and labia majora

SWALLOWING act of maintaining oral stimulation of the penis during fellatio by swallowing your partner’s sperm as he ejaculates during oral sex.  Highly desired by most males for its sensory overload.  Contact Swinger Social Network directly and ask for Johann if you’d like to practice this technique.

SWAPPING couples exchanging partners for the purposes of sex

SWAPSIESm often used by Gay couples to describe the swapping of partners

SWF Single White Female

SWINGER one who engages in recreational sex

SWINGER'S TRIANGLE refers to the patch of skin on the coccyx shaped like a triangle that does not tan; occurs during repeated use of tanning beds, popular with swingers, due to reduced blood flow on this pressure point while tanning if one does not change position

SWINGING non-monogamous sexual behavior in which partners in a committed relationship agree to engage in sexual activities with others as recreational activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to a swingers' club and can involve internet-based introduction services such as Swinger Social Network (SSN).  The term “wife swapping” is highly criticized as male-centric and does not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which couples may take part. 

SWITCH a swinger will perform both as a Dom or a Sub

SWM Single White Male

SYBIAN refers to a large powerful vibrator mounted on a saddle that women can ride

TAN Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus (AIDS)

TANTRIC a term used by some swingers in the lifestyle--normally absent any real Buddhist spiritual beliefs—and instead is used almost exclusively as a catch-all phrase for the deliberate sexual technique of male orgasm control, full-body orgasms, and the set of practices for cultivating a more fulfilling sexual or love relationship

TEABAGGINGalign="LEFT" style="line-height: 0.2in"> the act of a man lowering his balls on or into the mouth of a swinging partner; when repeated in an up-and-down motion it resembles the lowering of a tea bag in a cup; a form of oral sex/stimulation

THREESOME three people representing both genders who engage in sexual activity (FFM or MFM).  It is generally assumed that all three people engage in sex, but the level of sexual activity and actual physical contact among all members can vary depending on the composition of the threesome and the acceptance of bisexual contact.  Certain purists contend that it should not be considered a threesome unless there is bisexual contact.  [Lifestyle nomenclature denotes that FFM and MMF suggest some bisexual activity, whereas MFM and FMF do not.]

THREEWAY or THREE-WAY or 3-WAY synonoym for Threesome (see Threesome)

TICKET pejorative term used to describe a person, usually a woman, who is brought to clubs and swinging events by a single maile for the sole purpose of gaining access to private events that screen for single males.  The ticket may have no intention to swing.

TITTY FUCKING sex act where a man simulates coitus by thrusting his erect penis between a women's (typically large) breasts until he reaches orgasm and ejaculate on her chest, chin and/or face; depicted here

TOPPERhreesome blowjob where one is masturbating the male's cock while the third partner bobs up and down with their mouth on the head of man's cock.

TOYS sexual aids

TRANSGENDERED a general term for the state of one's "gender identity" not matching one's "assigned sex."  Individuals who do not identify with their biologically assigned gender.   Not related to sexual orientation

TRANSSEXUAL individuals who have a desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by a sense of discomfort with, or inappropriateness of, one's anatomic sex, and a wish to have surgery and hormonal treatment to make one's body as congruent as possible with one's preferred sex

TRANSVESTITE is an individual who has sexual or erotic interest in cross-dressing

TUBAL LIGATION surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile

UNCUT - (or INTACT)erm used to refer to a penis that has not been circumcised

UNICORN a single bisexual female that actively participates in the swinger lifestyle; such women are referred to as unicorns because they are so highly sought after and rare

VANILLA anything pertaining to a non-swinging lifestyle. Non-swingers are referred to generically as vanillas; vanilla friends, vanilla vacations, vanilla party

VAS SAFE or V-SAFE profile annotation indicating a male with a vasectomy

VASECTOMY a surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens

VENUS BUTTERFLY variants of oral and manual stimulation to a woman’s clitoris, labia, perineum and anus

VERSATILE bisexual

VIBRATOR electrically powered device for stimulation of the genitalia either by insertion or against the sex organs.  Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please one another.   They come in all shapes and sizes and can be as innocuous as a “personal massager” which runs on batteries.  Or there are a number of larger mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women—chief amongst these is the Mercedes Benz 380L convertible

VINNIE pejorative term for obnoxious and pushy males at clubs and resorts who display little respect for ladies, and often don’t take “No!” for an answer; males with sense of inflated self-worth out of proportion to their actual ability, prowess or attractiveness.

VOLUPTUOUS ample, unrestrained, fullness of beauty, form and senses; often used in swinger Lifestyle to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts and/or full hips; curvy

VOYEUR A person who derives sexual gratification from observing someone undressing, naked bodies or others engaged in sex.  Since everyone is normally stimulated by watching others engage in sex, this term in usually limited to those who just watch and do not participate, e.g. cuckold relationships

WALLY pejorative term for males at clubs and resorts who derive sexual gratification by intently watch other people having sex from a distance (such as the bushes) while masturbating; also males who position themselves without saying a word in extremely close proximity of couples having sex so they can observe them intently; often display socially marginal, obsessive, quirky, or odd mannerisms.

WATERSPORTS refers to fetish play, often in BDSM, involving urine

WHISKEY DICK refers to the inability to obtain or maintain an erection due to the consumption of considerable quantities of alcohol

XENOPHILE person sexually attracted to difference and unfamiliarity.  Arousal can be triggered by strangers, but when the difference is based on racial or ethnic attributes then the less enlightened often described it pejoratively as Jungle Fever, Yellow Fever, Spice Fever, Bamboo Love, Gaysian, Potato Queens, etc.