Why I Became a Swinger

Not that there was anything wrong with my monogamous relationship with my wife. Not because the sex was infrequent. It didn’t have to do with boredom. It was all about new experiences. My wife and I would talk at night about our fantasies, and different things we’d like to try in the bedroom—sometimes with other people. It seemed every night, our fantasies altered slightly, and the kinky nature of my wife left one conclusion: try swinging.

Group Sex

We’ve been in the lifestyle a little over 3 years now, and are meeting more and more swingers in California. We’ve been with couples and singles our age, younger, and older. We quickly found to be comfortable in our bodies around others in the lifestyle, and made the transition to local swing clubs in order to expand our reach and further satisfy our ever increasing sexual cravings.

There was always excitement and a new experience with some sexy people waiting around the corner. We found local clubs near our home, and went into each trip with a sense of confidence. It was arousing, and from the get-go we made contacts—who eventually would become friends. The clubs were accommodating, and there were more people dressed in sexy little outfits than we thought. It’s a comfort area; we want to have sex without feeling uncomfortable.

As the first night proceeded, we found ourselves in an open room with three other couples. Let the action begin! The props were there (handcuffs, restraints) and the mood was right. We swapped partners, giving a glance at each other as the sex turned hot and steamy. That first night, we were able to live out some of our most erotic fantasies, and without commitment. Since that time, we’ve been on swinging retreats, vacations, and have traveled the country visiting other swingers clubs. The experience is always different, and it’s a breath of fresh air each time another woman satisfies me in ways I never thought imaginable.

Here are some lessons if you’re joining a free swingers website for the first time. In our lifestyle, the women are in charge. They’re the dominant figures in the bedroom—or the couch, or the floor, or the furniture. They have the final say. If they say no, that’s what it means.

Don’t look at swinging as a surefire fix to your relationship. As a couple, you want to enjoy the honesty and freedom that is offered by the lifestyle. You want to have fun! Still, you want to spend the night in your partner’s arms. If the relationship is going sideways, swinging won’t fix what’s broken. We turned to swinging to remain in a healthy relationship while fulfilling our fantasies. How long will the phase last? You never know, but we’re living in the now. And god damn it, does it make me feel alive.

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