Swingers Start Often In A Sexless Marriage
It seems many people come to this site looking for advice on whether or not they should marry someone that is not interested in sex. The stories usually tell of the wonderful attributes of the fiance and how they are so much in love. It’s just this one small problem. Is it really a big deal? And then all the comments are Run! Don’t get Married! Leave! He/She doesn’t love you! I’m sure we sound like angry, bitter people to the rest of the world, but we who are members of this group hear pain louder than anger.So let me tell you a little about the pain. You see, if you do decide to marry this person, you will probably be happy enough, and then you will decide to have children and they will be the joy of your life. So by the time you realize that you desperately need intimacy and you desperately need to be touched and you desperately need sex, you will find yourself head over heels for your kids. And you will find yourself willing to do anything to see them smile. And this guy who had wonderful qualities when you married him, will still have those same wonderful qualities. He’s a good dad, a good guy, a good provider. He just doesn’t touch you. Is it really that big of a deal? Your kids are happy, you are sort of happy, just a bit empty and lonely.This is where I am. Life’s just not too bad, but always there’s this big something that is missing. But no big deal. I can handle it. Most days I can anyway. Today, not so much. You see, last week I decided I wanted to get a second piercing in my ears. I work in a doctor’s office and we have the equipment to do this for mommy’s that want their little babies’ ears pierced. One of our MA’s said he would do it for me. So I sat on the exam table and he leaned in close and pushed my hair behind my ears, held my face in his hands and marked the place on my ear where he was going to put the earring. Then he did the other side. His hands stayed on my face and neck and in my hair and his face was so close to mine. After he pierced the first ear, he wasn’t happy with the mark on the other ear, so he had to redo. Now, I am in no way attracted to this man at all. As a matter of fact I’m pretty sure he is gay, but my heart beat faster and my breath came faster, I was affected tremendously by the touch.Today, I was at my kids’ school, volunteering in the library. I was putting books away and was hidden between shelves in the back. I found myself daydreaming about this touch, when it hit me how very, very sad it was, that I was touched more intimately getting my ears pierced than my husband has touched me in years. And I started to cry. And I couldn’t stop. And I kept praying that no one would come looking for me, because how in the hell do you explain this to anyone. All of the heartache just came pouring out of me, and I couldn’t quit crying.If you think that it will be ok, once you’re married, if you think you can live without sex, without being touched, well, you’re probably right most days. But the days you can’t live with it, you better lock yourself in your house and prepare to sob until your gut hurts, because that’s what happens.Everyone lives with pain and disappointment. Life hands it out. Don’t go volunteering for it.