Swingers and Jealousy

My love is temporarily half way around the world for business.   We were able to meet half way a few months ago.   We’ve always been swingers together. We never had the honeymoon before stepping out, so our play rules apart are difficult.    I had not played since he has left over 1 year ago, but we knew it would be a long haul ahead of us and he set me free to play.    Of course I could have returned to my swinger ways without his permission, but I cannot cheat.  Before I found swinging, ever man cheated on me but I never did.  I still don’t.

I was still hesitant to put up a profile as a single female.  I finally did and  also touched base with a few old swingers friends I trusted.   No couple or man really interested me.  I’m sure I was avoiding playing, but decided on trying out a swingers house-party.  I had not been to one in over 1.5 years.   I checked in with my love and he was pleased I was going with friends.

I was excited about the swingers party, but nervous.   In the months leading up to his departure, we had played little with others.  We wanted as much time with each other as we could.  Being swingers was on the bottom of our list.

Swingers have a saying.  “Move at the slowest paced partner.”   We both thought things would be fine and felt it was a good experiment to see how we could play apart halfway around the world from each other.

It did not go as well as we had hoped.   He had nothing to do but be alone and worry if I was OK?  What was I DOING and to whom?     It just was too hard for him.  My love is a kind and giving man and even sought out playmates for me while we were together, but this was too much to handle.

He was hard on himself.   He was a swinger and in the past had not behaved either, but also never cheated.     We discovered the hard way that if he could not reclaim me after being with others, he would feel jealous.    Jealousy has no logic, it just exists.

We worked it out.  He was too hard on himself because he knows I am a person who enjoys swinging.  I love him more than I like being a swinger.   We will swing again when he returns.

The bottom line is you can be swingers for years and not find all the triggers for jealousy.   Most vanilla couples would never have survived such a heart wrenching time.   We did and thrived knowing we would work it out.   It also proves that swingers need to have flexible and open relationships.   True, at one time I could go off and play, but I would return to him at the end of the night.   That will happen again.   So when jealousy hits, take a pause, think about it and talk it out.  Love your partner more than the jealousy, more than the “point” of the matter and fun happy times will be had by all.

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