How to write a good swingers profile so your meet other swingers fast
Swinger profiles are all about is creating a good user name. No two Swinger Social personal pages can have the same name. Yours needs to be a unique and positive image of you and that you are ready to meet very soon.
For some people this step is already too late to influence, e.g. you have already signed up and have a paid membership. Some however may be just starting their swinging experience, or maybe only have a free membership that they are willing to abandon for a paid membership with a better user name. Either way, this is an absolutely critical step in establishing a good swinger personal page.
A good swinger profile name says something about you and how you like to swing. The best one is simple and reveals something about you in just a few letters and/or numbers. Bad ones are embarrassing and vapid, and there are no shortages of them on any adult swinger websites. Avoid names that could prejudice people against you before they even read your personal page, e.g. “Princess” or “Bully” or “Chubby” or “Nerdy” or even “Big”, “Huge”, or “Long.” Such nom de plume may be tongue in cheek or totally innocent, yet be completely misconstrued, laughed at, or be a huge turn off. Compare the narcissistic, juvenile and implausible “Big10Incher4U” with witty, pithy or sometimes self-deprecating user names like “BaldEagle” for a single bald male, or a single-male profile called “Free2aGoodHome” or the slightly naughty “ClittyClittyBangBang.”
There are a few other pitfalls that you should avoid in a swingers profile if you can. They are not rules, just recommendations of how to improve. It is recommended that you do NOT use your real name in your swingers profile name. Your user name will be how everyone identifies you in the swinging community. If you are comfortable with letting everyone swinger who ever logs on what your real name is—then you are fine. But if you are looking for some anonymity, then avoid user names like “Elmer&Meghan” who are from a small town in Idaho. How long would it take to figure out who this couple is?
Another pitfall is to use the trite or overused phrases and combinations that abound on most adult swinger websites. It is probably OK to use “couple” or “cuple” or even “cpl” in conjunction with something else. But how many times have you seen “4U” or “69” or “big”-something-or-other in the user name? They are tired and over-used. Additionally, unless you want everyone to instantly evaluate you based on nothing more than your age, then adding your birth year to your user name might be counterproductive as in “John1952”.
One tip that many swingers forget about is that your user name should be easy to pronounce. Think of how much more difficult it is to remember and talk about “in1csc973” who you met last night at the sex club versus looking up “MustangSally” or “TyphoonKate”. It is not uncommon in the lifestyle for many people to not know your real names until you have really gotten to know them! You may be known by your swingers profile name for a long time. Choose it well.
The Tag Line
Right next to your profile name and right at the top of your personal Swinger Social Network page is your Tag Line. This is your own personal slogan or motto or a one-liner to market yourself to all the swingers on the site. Studies show you have 3 seconds to capture a reader’s attention, or they will move on to the next personal page entry. Try to think of the tag line as a longer (60 character) user name. Be smart, witty, and concise. The more original, the better. The advantage of the tag line over the user name is that you can alter it whenever you want.
Popular tag lines are lyrics, poems, movie quotes, punch lines, truisms, maxims, adages, proverbs, aphorisms, tenets and other sayings. Search for one-liners, or tweak something from pop culture, or a marketing campaign. There are millions. Pick the one that makes you laugh or identifies you, and then alter it slightly to make it yours. Of course the problem with using such popular devices is that they end up being banal tired clichés that are more likely to turn off then turn on. Examples such as “Do you like pina coladas?” or “You will never find one like me” or “I’m looking for a long-term relationship if you suck cock good” or “I will rock your world” are so overused they are more likely to cause laughter than intrigue.
Know Your Audience, Know Yourself
This step is very important and is almost never done well. Why? Because so few people take the time to really figure out who they are, what they want, and who they want to attract …or who they do not want to attract. Figure out who you are and how you are different, and then leverage that difference into something that makes you sound interesting to other swingers. Many stumble straight into writing their swinger profile and filling out the lifestyle boxes without contemplating what they really hope to find. These are the same people who end up becoming disillusioned with swinging when they get inquiries they don’t like or people who don’t share their same interests. Just think how many times you’ve seen a newbie personal page that says “Just checking it all out.” If that’s all your profile says how could any swinger know if you are going to be interested in them?
There are all kinds of swingers profiles and all kinds of swingers—and the lifestyle is a big tent! Many people make the mistake that they believe all swingers are the same. They are NOT! There are huge differences among swingers about sexual practices and intent and expectations in the lifestyle. You are not trying to reach everyone; you are only trying to reach the ones you are interested in. You need to be clear what it is that you are interested in doing or the kind of swingers you want to meet. Be clear about who you are and what you want. Things left unsaid are often misinterpreted. If you are a completely straight single female and have no desire to experiment or have any bisexual curiosities, then make sure you say that. If you are only interested in casual no-strings-attached NSA sex, don’t pretend that you are not. It’s a swingers site. Feel free to say what sex acts you are interested in or not. Do you like anal sex? Are you interested in double penetration (DP)? Are you into cuckolding or Hot Wife? Let people know.
Be yourself. Don’t imitate or try to be something you are not. People can spot fake swingers profiles in an instant. If you are interested in just being a stunt cock—say so. If you are seeking a long-term exclusive polyamorous relationship with another couple—say it. There will be other swingers out there who want the same thing. Swinging is supposed to be about honesty and frankness in sexual relationships. Of course a measure of prudence is always right. If you are a guy and want sex with mostly women, but one thing you like to do is occasionally take a cock-up the ass—then you might want to hold off saying that publicly until you find the right couple. If all you are interested in is being a cuckold—and nothing else—then go ahead, say it in your personal page!
Write Your Swinger Profile
Your user name may catch someone’s eye, and your tagline may make them go to your personal page, but it is the written narrative section of your swinger personal page that is going to decide if another swinger will ever want to contact you or meet you. It is best to think through what you want to say, draft an outline on a separate piece of paper first, and then scribble it all out as fast as you can—to get the personal feel of who you really are. Check for grammar and spelling later. You have three sections to convey who you are, what you are looking for, and what you would like to do in the lifestyle. They are entitled: What’s Your Story?, and A Match Would Be, and Fantasies and Experiences
What’s Your Story?
What should you put in the What’s Your Story section? This is the block devoted to you telling everyone else who are. Who you are is NOT your job, or where you live, or went to school, or your religion, or your race. Those are just demographic categories. Are you truly any different from someone who went to Pocatello High School than someone from Rock Island High? Who you are and what makes you interesting are the little idiosyncrasies and quirks that make you unique. Who would you rather meet? The Irish-American certified public accountant who was raised Catholic in Indiana? Or, the guy who ran the “coldest Marathon on record” in Minneapolis in the winter and got hooked on coconut rice for breakfast after dating a graduate student from Bali?
Don’t talk about things that could apply to anyone. “I love to laugh” or “I love music.” “Really!? So do I! We should meet!” Not. Relate personal anecdotes about yourself or swinging you are willing to tell. You should try to come up with a half a dozen things you can think of about yourself that you are willing to share, i.e. hobbies, interests, what you like to do, where you like to travel, choices for entertainment or food, sports, recreation, pets, or anything else you like or want to share. Don’t list everything. Pick three or four of the most interesting things and talk about them. It will be the things that are different about you that will make you the most interesting. Don’t be general; be specific. Even make your specifics more specific. You could say “I like movies.” Boring. Or, you could say, “I like science fiction movies.” Better. Or, you could say, “I like the Star Trek movies.” Even better, you could say, “I tell all my trekkie friends that I like Wrath of Khan the most, but the truth is I really like The Voyage Home the most.”
Who would you rather start a conversation with? “I like all kinds of music.” Or, “My grandfather played a fiddle in a zydeco band and that why I like Cajun music so much.” Or how would you decided between these two choices? “I love beer to liquor to the finest wines.” Or, “I was raised near Jefferson’s estate in Monticello so I’ve acquired a taste for wines from the Blue Ridge Mountains.” Who would you rather start a conversation with? “I can dress up & down and be in & out.” Or, “I grew up in Key West but put myself through college as a sommelier, so I am just as comfortable in Hawaiian shirts as a bow tie.”
A Match Would Be
So what should you put in this section? This is the section where you tell other swingers what you are looking for. You’ve told them about yourself and what you are like and what your interests are. Now you need to let them know what you like in other swingers and what kind of person interests you. You should use the same kind of logic and procedures as you used in the other sections of your swinger personal page. Know what you want from the lifestyle. Take the time to figure that out. It is just as important to be honest in this section as in the last. Lay out your real expectations. Do you really want to do an MMF with another couple? Or are you just saying that because you hope to gain access to the husband’s wife? What are you going to do when it becomes clear that this MMF (and NOT a MFM) is expecting some intimate male-male contact and sexual activity? Do not ask for something you really don’t want—or like the Chinese proverb—you just might get it!
What are you interested in? What kind of swinger? What would you like to do? Are there sex acts that you have particular interest in? Who would you like to do it with? Don’t count on the profile types or the checkboxes to let people know what you are interested in—tell your story. Give a narrative of what you are interested in and like to do. Try to be positive. Don’t just list all kinds of things you are not interested in or don’t like. Who would you rather consider fucking? “No drama and no cheaters! Real people only!” Or, “Would love to find a couple that is just as relaxed naked in bed with us as lying on a beach in Jamaica with a rum drink.” Or who would you rather contact? “I’m not interested in any kinky stuff or weird shit.” Or, “Haven’t done this long but have made great friends and had a lot of fun. Would love to compare notes. You show me yours and I’ll show you mine!”
The tent which covers all lifestyle swingers is very large. You will have to make a choice on how explicit (or graphic) you wish to describe what it is that interests you. There are pros and cons on either side of the spectrum. Lack of detail can mean lots of hits and misses as you try to find people who are like you and want to do the same kind of things. Explicit detail of what you like and what sex acts turns you on may actually turn off some people who don’t appreciate the same things or how you describe them. But the ones that do will be a lot closer to what you are looking for in swinging. The bottom line is that you try to be as honest as you can. Be honest with yourself and honest with others you are talking to.
Fantasies and Experiences
Honesty in this section is just as important as the last section. In this section you should talk about what you would like to do—or do again! Dream a little. It doesn’t have to be entirely about sex or sex acts. Talk about dreams and ambitions. Do you want to travel someplace special? Have you ever done destination swinging or swingers resorts? What would you do if you retired or won the lottery? Tell other swingers on the site the kinds of things that you have enjoyed and would love to repeat—or help someone else do! This is not the place to recount play dates that have gone bad or disastrous swinging experiences. That is, unless you have a rapier wit and can turn the whole experience into a few lines of wondrous comedy reminiscent of an I Love Lucy episode. This is also not the section to laundry list all the sex acts and positions of the Kama sutra. Who would you rather think of helping out with a new sexual fantasy? “Would love to try a 69, 369, 469, FFM, FFFM and FFFFFM, double penetration, gang bang or fisting.” Or, “Have really enjoyed threesomes, but still have a lasting unfulfilled fantasy of someone licking my cock as I drive deep in our mutual friend.”
Just like the other section, you should decide how much sexual detail to put into your experiences and desired fantasies. Lots of sexy detail could really turn a lot of people on. On the other hand lots of detail may sound like you have no depth or someone who may Kiss-N-Tell. You have to decide for yourself about how much detail seems proper. But in any case, avoid banal platitudes like “If you wanna know something just ask, I just might answer,” or “Just too many to tell.”