Why Our First Swap Was A Success In The Swinger Lifestyle
Why Our First Swap Was A Success
Let’s be honest, jumping into the swinger lifestyle can be intimidating and nerve-wracking! As confident as we were in our decision to start swinging, we had concern after concern about how that first interaction would go, once we met a couple we enjoyed enough to get naked with. Luckily for us, we met a great couple and were able to navigate our first swap in a way that left a very good taste in our mouths for the lifestyle.
We started corresponding digitally with “Jack and Diane” (names changed for anonymity) online, and immediately were intrigued. First, they were a fellow age gap couple, and in our town, couples with a 20+ year age gap are almost nonexistent. We were eager to pick their brains about that dynamic, if nothing else. That led to correspondence back and forth, and us deciding that we found them interesting in other ways too. We were confident that if we sat down and met them, we would enjoy our time with them.
However, three failed attempts to meet this couple led to a lot of frustration and confusion on our part. Since this was our first couple, we didn’t know whether this was normal behavior, or if we had a right to be pissed. We almost wrote them off altogether, as they cancelled 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet them for a drink. To us, it was “proof” that they weren’t serious about meeting. And to be clear, we still feel that this behavior is unacceptable. But after a few heartfelt texts back and forth between the wife and Brenna, we decided to give them one more shot. And man, are we ever glad we did!
We made plans to meet for dinner and drinks with little confidence that they would actually show. Both of us were a little surprised to see them walk down the stairs to the restaurant, almost like we were seeing ghosts! Even more surprising to us was the fact that what transpired over the next three hours was the building of a very solid connection. They were very candid with us about who they were as a couple, their past relationships, and much more. We felt compelled and comfortable to do the same (something that we both have struggled with when in the company of “vanilla” people.) Our conversations were varied: Fun led to serious, which led to silly, which led to sexy. We flirted a little, but never overtly. By the end of that “date”, we were very eager to spend more time in their company. This initial connection was the catalyst for why this experience was a very positive one for us.
Over the next couple of weeks, as we waited patiently to see them again in person, we intensified our flirting via text messages. We learned new things about each of them, both sexually and mentally. It became fun and exciting to look down at our phones and see a new message from the husband or wife. The most comforting part of this digital communication, however, was the discussion between Brenna and the wife. They shared thoughts on what the first time with a couple would be like, Brenna’s current comfort level, what she wanted to see and did not want to see Brian do with another woman. Through this communication, Brenna went into their play (after meeting a second time for a cocktail) with confidence that all parties involved had her boundaries and interests in mind. What transpired was an incredibly sexy and fulfilling night of swapping, a truly successful first interaction with a couple.
We learned two very important lessons from this experience: The first is that for us, open and honest communication is not to be reserved just for you and your partner. By showing this couple who we really are, what our relationship means to us, and them reciprocating, we were able to develop a friendly connection before a physical connection was ever on the table. Second, we learned that giving people the benefit of the doubt, and not taking things so seriously, can open a lot of doors in the lifestyle. If we had continued to be bent out of shape about them cancelling, we would have lost out on getting to know a fantastic couple.
Oh, and on a side note, if you want to hear all of the steamy details from that night, check out Episode 2 of our sexy swingers podcast, Front Porch Swingers!