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Swingersocial tips to become or meet a Swinger

Take a look around and you’ll be stunned when you find discover how many people you know that are swingers! If you’re thinking a swinger is female who is a hard body or a stud with “6 pack abs” think again, you couldn’t be more wrong.  Your jaw will hit the ground when you find out how many swingers you already know and they have been swinging for a long time.  There’s a good chance neighbors are swinger, everyday people you see at the supermarket, the curvy woman you see walking her dog who is so nice, and just about everybody else.  Swingers are everyday people, married or single, who enjoy sex, want to add “spice” to their sex life; try new sexy play, swap partners, enjoy fantasies you’ve had for ages, learn about new sexual things to enjoy.  See more articles on the blog for ideas and our “Lifestyle Definitions” guide, written by swingers to get you up to speed.  Around the world swinging it taking off millions of married couples are consensually swapping partners.

The swinging lifestyle was something more of a fantasy.  However, things have changed and being a swinger has changed from being a fantasy to reality for all of us.  Swingers are not your “special people” who are in great shape & look like models, or people who go to expensive clubs for “lap dances”, etc.  They are your everyday guy, girl, and couple who you see out shopping, chat with when at happy hour, neighbors you watch movies with, etc.  Nervous about trying it?  That’s totally understandable, as I said earlier, read other posts here and the “Lifestyle Definitions” here and you’ll realize it’s something you’d have no problem getting started.  For some it’s more pillow talk and roleplaying but it much more. It’s a “lifestyle”.

For some couples, the idea of swinging is merely pillow talk or fantasy roleplaying, while others have wholeheartedly stepped in the complex web of this lifestyle. If you’re remotely considering swinging with your spouse, part-time lover, or a friend with benefits there are a few things you should know before getting started.

How to bring up the idea of swinging?

For us it was amazing, we both had been thinking about getting into swinging but neither had the nerve to bring up the idea.  In bed we often share fantasies and much to my surprise my husband casually asked me how I would feel about having a threesome and having another person join us.  The immediate look on her face answered my question, her eyes lite up and smile grew, I knew the answer. Then we just took it from there. After having the threesome, we felt comfortable enough discussing the option of playing with other couples. Turns out it’s been a fantasy she’s had since college.

What made you want to try it? And what were your expectations.

We wanted to try it because it has been an issue of unending curiosity for both of us as well as a fantasy we both have had for years.  We wanted to add more to our convential relationship, explore together things we that we were confident we’d love and actually strength our conventional relationship. We  has been an unfulas an exercise to become closer to experience things together that may have otherwise been a threat to a conventional relationship. We expected it to be a learning process but we didn’t know how much thought and effort would have to go into it to find the right fit.

Being new to swinging, we did not know how to meet like minded people, but the post here were a huge help.

We did our homework, read blogs, the “lifestyle definitions:, etc.  Once on the site we emailed others who turned out to be very friendly.  We realized Swingersocial was basically a dating site for adults.  After a few emails and chatting we found the best way to get started was to go to a “Meet and Greet”.  What’s a “Meet and Greet”, we had no idea.   It’s just meeting a small group of members on the site meet at a local bar on a weeknight.  And OMG, turns out the bar was 3miles from out house and we go there a lot.  And YEP, sure enough, our friends were part of the small group.  The conversation was what you’d expect at a non swinging get together.  Work, travel, issues with the weather, etc. and oh yea and then the unique topic of swinging came up.

All of the members where so accommodating to chat about swinging, how they got into it, how long they have been into the lifestyle and basically it was meeting with friends you also have an “open relationship”

Our new experienced swinging friends suggest we go to a swinging club NOT a “Gentlman’s Club” with lap dancer, etc.  The cool thing is you have the choice of participating or not. People at swing clubs are very helpful and are willing to offer guidance for newbies.

We feel the “Meet and Greets” are the best.  Very casual, you don’t have to put in much effort, just a local drive and be casually dress, and you’ll find out how friendly and accommodating everybody is.  And see that they are all you “everyday” person you see in public.

 Before going to the club for the 1st time, we had a long talk to make sure we both wanted to do this AND the dos and don’ts.  That made us feel comfortable and changed nervousness to curiosity.

Having been to the “Meet and Greet” we essentially been coached on lots of things; ranging from how to “talk” to the other couples and give insight on how dating and partner swapping work from the opposite sex’s point of view, which was really fun to learn about. We made a point to discuss safety and comfort and working as a team. So if one person started feeling nervous, uncomfortable, or left out, the other partner would come to their aid above all else.

We’ve learned many things now that we’ve been swinging.

Boundaries are never set in stone, not knowing exactly what to experience heightens the intrigue factor. In fact, couples first starting out should expect the unexpected. For instance, when you’re in the middle of playing, it’s important that communication with your partner is critical. So, if you don’t like something, don’t be afraid of speaking up. Also, every experience is always going to be different. Don’t expect the same experience each time, there’s always something different that will come up.

Getting ready for a night of swinging is so fun!

Anticipation is all part of the fun.  Presentation of ourselves is so fun, what theme do we want to portray tonight – what to bring and what to wear. We love getting dressed up for the occasion and picking out which sex toys will accompany us. Being well-prepared for a night of fun is important too. We typically pack an overnight case full of goodies and sex toys. And Lube—-don’t forget the lube!

Our 1st club visit meet our expectations and we wanted to get back there!

At first, you feel a little awkward, lucky we saw a couple we met at our local “meet and greet”, got to chatting and a little tour of things.  Then we were at the bar and another couple came up and they broke the ice!  Things are similar to what we experience in our visit to a bar However the topic of sex, instead of being “off limits”, it’s definitely a topic everyone loves to talk about and if there’s chemistry, engage in!

 It’s been a while since we slowly introduced swinging into our lives, and it’s added a lot of fun.

It’s important not to have expectations, swinging is not for everyone. Some people try it a few times and call it quits, while others continue thriving in the lifestyle. You really have to participate at your own pace. A big challenge most couple is insecurity and jealousy.  See our article on the blog about how couples have dealt with these issues.  These types of negative emotions are naturally occurring in every relationship. But when you are part of the swinging community, the emotions like jealousy can become amplified in unexpected ways. But if you and your partner can work through the uncomfortable moments, swinging can be rather rewarding. We would absolutely do it again; as it has created a closer bond between me and my partner.

Advice for those who are curious.

Don’t not use swinging as a manipulative tactic for cheating on your partner. Swinging is a cooperative expression between consenting adults and should never be used for hurting another person. There are different types of swinging groups such as soft swap to full swap groups to those who only want kink to those who simply enjoy watching. Swinging is not always about having sex and is a great way of getting to know yourself and your partner on a totally different sexual level.. Having a strong foundation in your relationship is vital even before talking about swinging. If you can’t share everything with your partner and feel like you have to hide things—then this type of expression may not be a good fit. The single most important thing, is to have fun and enhance your conventional relationship.


Swinger Plus Sized Girls Can and DO Get Laid In the Lifestyle.

Swingers, and potential swinger women…read this…I’ve receive a lot of emails from other plus sized women who have appreciated my posts about transforming from an ugly chick who know one would want to a desirable swinger woman men actively pursue. Now mind you I am not a model, I cannot bend in some unique way, not really even able to deep throat although I hear I make up for that in other ways. 🙂 I am not gods gift to swinger men.

But the overwhelming theme I hear is “My wife wants to be a swinger, but she thinks she is too fat” or I hear from the woman herself that how could she swing and show her body.  When you look at the PG rated Swinger Social Galleries you will quickly notice many women are not thin and are happy to show off their curvy figures.  Also you will see on our twitter site, many of our members are happy to show theircurvy bodies to thousands of people.

Join me & my friends on swingersocial.com and G+

We all have preferences. I prefer swinger that are clean-cut men that my Mom would approve of. Others like thin, tall, tattoos etc. There are all types and sizes and shapes in the lifestyle and the successful ones are the swinger girls who have confidence in themselves no matter what.

 

I’ve lost a lot of weight and my body shows the after effects. Only plastic surgery could fix what main stream society consider body flaws and I still consider going through with it. I still struggle with my lumps, bumps and folds every so often. I am human, but I am here to tell you that you are desirable if you CHOOSE to be so! Swingers are generally 40+ and we all have 40+ bodies. Some are cut and perfect by societies standards but they seem to be the ones that are avoided. I recently had a man with a traditionally perfect body want to be with me and I debated with

him for hours about why? Silly me, he liked my personality AND my curves and as a swinger man he loves women for who they are. Damn could he SWING! I would have missed out on a lot.

Men tend to look at the parts they like. They are not judging your baby tummy, or your breasts you loving gave to your children to feed. They want to please you if they are worthy of you. Stop judging yourself and when you do stop and think.

Mr Mars (an author here and great play partner) was talking to me the other day and I was saying how was I getting so lucky with men that were so pretty and hot? He reminded me I was the common denominator. Others look better in a bikini but I certainly look better in bed with my wonderful swing friends and with my wonderful swing partner.

Want to be a swinger and think you can’t because you are not “perfect?” BULLSHIT! If you want it go for it. Some will say no, most will say yes. Also guys you don’t have to be perfect either. I don’t care if you have your hair, put on those 20 lbs you can’t get rid of. I do care that you are clean, healthy and like women. A sense of humor is also fun. That’s it. That’s all you need to be with me and be successful in the swinger world.

My boyfriend loves to be with a woman who has lost her sex mojo and show her she is beautiful and maybe show her how to swing. I am always proud (and terribly turned on) by these wonderful gifts he gives to women that have lost their confidence. He did it for me and showed me how swinging and being in an open relationship is so much fun and that I was desirable even though I am not a model. We all end up looking the same in the end. What a shame if we choose to closet ourselves away because we don’t look like Madison Avenue wants us to.  Thanks Swinger Social,  I’m getting attention 24/7

Love to hear your comments and experiences!

 


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